Confidential, Friday, December 26, 1997

To wrap up good old ’97, I thought I’d do something a little different: combine two nights into one column. Think of it as a two-for-one special, a double-header, a double-cheeseburger, whatever...

Pamela Lee for President (11/19)

Went to Don Hill’s to see Crazy Raymond and the Watchdogs, following a few persuasive calls from Ray himself. When I walked in, Ray immediately inducted me as his makeup artist for the evening. He sat patiently as I jotted black liner around his eyelids, top and bottom. He did pass on the lipstick, however, although I offered him the loveliest color of cherry-red.

The Watchdogs plowed through a nice set of rock’n’roll. (Louis Dean Merola plays guitar for the band; Larry Roski carries the backbone.) In attendance were a couple of local cable stars: Joey Zero, who hosts channel 17 on Saturdays at 1:30 a.m. and Doby Daenger, who hosts channel 16, Tuesdays at 11:30 p.m. and Thursdays at 2:00 a.m. Rumor has it that Doby has been sampling some of Bobby Steele’s “heavy metal” as of late. (Who says romance only blooms in the spring.) Bobby, a former member of the Misfits, is the frontman for The Undead, who are currently touring with The Independents.

Needed a change of scenery so I headed to CBGB’s, where the band Head (formerly known as Death Blues) was busy living up to their former name: a few bars into the first song and I felt a little like Death myself -- which is enough to give even the happiest camper a case of the blues. Misery loves company and I had plenty: Hot Damn, a band in from LA, were scheduled to go on next, however, after Head’s fourth song they decided to “can the joint,” as guitarist Allen put it.

Joey Ramone’s Secret Holiday Bash (12/9)

Winter is my favorite time of year. Less day, more night, what could possibly be better.

Headed to the Continental on a blustery December night a couple of weeks ago to attend Joey Ramone’s “Secret” Holiday Bash. C.J. Ramone’s band, Los Gusanos, was just setting up when I entered and I soon found myself chatting with a Belgium doctor about blood transfusions and the public's affinity for chocolate Ex-Lax over the original flavor.

As inspiring of a conversation as it was, I was nonetheless glad to hear Los Gusanos kick into their high-octane set of old-school rock’n’roll, heavy on the punk overtones. (No chocolate Ex-Lax here, just Grade A rocket fuel.) Among the highlights was a great rendition of the Velvet Underground classic “I’m Waiting For The Man,” which closed the set.

Between bands I ran into Little Linda who has the impressive credentials of having been kicked out of nearly every bar in the East Village. Linda has joined the band Zero Child and says they’ll soon be touring in Mexico. Somebody mentioned that I had a twin at the other end of the bar, but I didn’t bother to look. I thought, isn’t everyone in this place my twin? We’re all wearing black and holding a bottle of beer.

My thoughts were soon displaced by the sound of The Dictators beginning their set with a very cool opener, “Faster, Louder.” The crowd’s favorite tune, however, was “Who Will Save Rock’n’Roll,” since Joey Ramone jumped on stage to join in with “Handsome” Dick Manitoba on vocals. The Dictators, along with Joey, closed the set with Manitoba’s “I Am Great.”

Headed downstairs to the VIP room where Brain Knott, lead guitarist for The Nuns, proved that he has more than mere musical talent. He molded a balloon for me that was intended to be a penis with a hat on it. It looked more like two penises, however -- one large, one small -- and it was sans balls, which made me begin to question his talent.

One of my many twins that evening – whose name I’ve since forgotten -- insisted on wearing the balloon. The good Samaritan that I am, I let her have the honor. (The penis hat looked splendid on her, I must say.) Heartened by the sight, Brian offered Dee Dee Ramone a custom-made balloon hat for his very own head. Fortunately, Dee Dee had the good sense to decline.

Bumped into Handsome Dick on my way back from the VIP. He invited me to Bar 2A where, he tells me, he wrote the aforementioned song “I Am Great.” My battery felt like it was running a little low, however, so I declined. A couple minutes later, The Undead appeared onstage and Bobby Steele began the set with “Ain’t No Doubt About It,” another great old-school punk recipe, loud and fast as music should be.

The Undead served up a few more tunes; one verse opened with “Neither one will make you a penny...” and I soon realized that I was down to my own last penny, so I headed home. Eventually, you have to stop and recharge, lest the lights go out forever, if you know what I mean.

Oh, one last thing: Happy Holidays. See you in ’98.