© 2005 Dr. Dot, NY Rock
Dr. Dot (a nickname given by Frank Zappa in 1988) has tended to the musical elite for nearly two decades. She describes
herself as a "rock chick" who, as a teenager, wanted to meet her musical heroes without trading sexual favors. Instead, Dr.
Dot offered massages, which she had been perfecting since she was five years old. Clients have included Sting, Eminem, the Rolling
Stones, Sheryl Crow, Robert Plant, Kiss, Aerosmith, Blondie, Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Vin Diesel, R. Kelly and Bruce Willis.
She recently completed her first American book, "Butt-Naked and Backstage: Diary of the World's Greatest Rock and Roll
Submit a question to Dr. Dot
Dear Dr. Dot,
I have always had a suspicion that my boyfriend adores my best friend. She is
cute and dresses sexy so it's only natural I guess. I wanted to test them to
see if they would hook up, so one night we went out and all got drunk and came
back to our place and got cozy. We all ended up in our huge bed and started to
sleep. I went to the bathroom and stayed extra long to see if they would start
something. I flipped on the light really suddenly and saw that they had moved
towards each other and I was certain they had been screwing around. The next day
I confronted my guy and he denied it, so did she. I don't know what to do.
I feel like they want each other and I am merely in the way. What should I do?
How can I find out the truth?
Sounds like you are about 13 years old to me so the "drunk" part struck me as
odd. If you are not 13 then you have a problem. First of all, letting hot
girlfriends around your guy is asking for trouble. Why invite temptation?
There is enough of that out there, why bring it into your relationship? Keep
single girlfriends and your boyfriend kinda separate if you can. Sure, it
works out sometimes, but most of the time it ends up in huge cat fights so why
bother? The fact that she dresses hot around your guy means you have to be sly
and just make plans with her when he isn't around and vice versa. If he loves
you, he will more than likely always adore any of your cute gal pals, as they
may be slightly similar to you in character and hence, his type. Don't do
anything now, just let things run naturally. If they were meant to be
together, they will eventually, but in the mean time, enjoy him alone and
don't do that again. It's stupid and masochistic.
- Dr. Dot
Dear Dr. Dot,
My boyfriend always asks me to moan during sex. He wants me to be loud! I am
shy and think he may laugh if I suddenly start to moan and talk during sex.
Why do men want this? What is the big attraction?
- Silent Sue
Sex is the time we let out our inner animal. Have you ever heard animals
fucking? It's loud; it sounds naughty and primitive. Society has us all caged
up in rules, deadlines and manners. The only time a man can really let loose
is either when he engages in sports or sex. If a man is fucking you the right
way, a decent amount of sound should come out of you. The more grunts and
groans a man hears, the more confident he is that he is doing you the right
way. Silent sex should only occur if you are staying at the in-laws house and
they are within ear shot (ditto with young kids being around). Sex should be
the ultimate expressive experience, where one lets their hair down and vowels
out in a loud manner. Don't be so damn cold. Let him have it. Tell him with
moans and/or naughty words that he is setting you free. If he isn't then tell
him until he does it right. I can't imagine being quiet during sex. How boring
would that be? There are, however, men who don't like to hear a peep out of
their women. If you really can't bring yourself to be verbally hot, then maybe
you should find a guy who adores your silent sexual behavior. Sex is a good
area to behave like Goldie Cocks. I mean, Locks. It has to be just right for
- Dr. Dot
Dear Dr. Dot,
I am dating a new guy and everything is great. It's just when it comes to oral sex, he
gets mad that I won't swallow his sperm. My question is, why do men have this thing
about a woman swallowing? As long as I suck it, why do they care where it goes?
I am willing to spend a lot of time cock sucking and licking their balls and have
been told I'm pretty good at it. But when he is starting to cum, I grab his cock and
keep a tight rub on it so he feels good. I
do not want that stuff in my mouth. What's the problem? Although I love to be eaten
my favorite thing is to have my tits sucked and milked. If some disgusting liquid
came out, I wouldn't care whether he swallowed. Just suck it. Am I off base?
- 'Not havin' it' Nancy
First of all, you should think of starting a career in sexy journalism. I am sure you
have most of the men who read your letter wondering how to get in touch with you, as
finding a woman who likes "to spend a lot of time cock sucking and licking balls" is
highly sought after. Swallowing a man's tide shows that you accept him, every drop of
him. His sperm is his personal liquid gold, their most valuable juice and if you won't
swallow it, it's kind of like saying "you aren't good enough to swallow" and, hence,
they get pissed off and disappointed.
If his spunk smells or taste funny to you, it is natureís way of telling you "don't
breed with this wanker!" If you are in love, you should want to swallow his spunk
(unless it's super-chunk-clam-chowder style, then anyone would understand the
resistance. But if you just can't seem to bring yourself to do so, then tell the guy
up front, "I will suck you 'til the cows come home, but I don't swallow. If you have
a problem with that, then we will just skip the whole blow job part of our
relationship." This should solve that problem immediately, as most men would choose a
non-swallow blowjob over no blowjob at all.
- Dr. Dot
I am writing to see if you have information on/or feedback about excessive body hair. Iíve really been struggling with this
the past few years. It started when I was about 22. I used
to have a little hair on my chest, which I didnít mind at all, but it seemed to get worse over the years. By the time I
turned about 28, the hair on my chest spread all over my
stomach and then I started to get hair on my neck, back, ass, ears, nose, and everywhere else in unwanted places.
I tried to ignore it but it just got out of control. One night when I was a little buzzed I shaved my arms, but I couldn't
seem to stop there. By the way, itís true what they say
about "donít shave it because it will come back thicker and more hairy."
I donít want to sound like a whiny little bitch but itís not just my self-esteem that is crushed, it is also uncomfortable
and itchy. When I have my shirt off, the wind blows some
of the hairs on my back and it tickles and itches making it uncomfortable and such a nuisance. Even with my shirt on it still
itches my back to no extent.
I like to try to stay well groomed so I still shave once every month or two. I use a shear with a guard to shave my legs,
armpits, and eyebrows. Then I take the guard off and do my
arms, ass, and part of my lower back (what I can reach). Iíve pretty much given up on my back because I canít reach it well
and am too embarrassed to ask anyone else to help me with it.
Iíve never tried waxing because it sounds painful and I think I have too much hair in private places to hire someone to
wax me all over. I remember seeing an advertisement for the
smooth epilady years ago but I heard it is very painful too. I donít think laser hair removal is advanced enough either.
Plus, from what I understand, the laser will take care of
black hairs only after many treatments and it does nothing for the white type of hairs on our bodies and I canít really
afford an expensive solution. What can I do?
Please give me some tips, info, or something to help me with this. I know if anyone can help, it is you Dr. Dot. I believe in
you, appreciate, and respect you. I think if I could get
this under control, I may have more confidence in myself to help get my self-esteem back up and energy to workout and
exercise more and etc. It is so uncomfortable. Even with a shirt
on, it is so itchy. Iím so depressed and I have such a low self-esteem right now and the excess body hair doesnít
seem to help out the situation. Please help me if you can. Thanks for
That sucks that you are unhappy about your hairy body. It is something that you really can't change. If you think you are
sad because it is, in your eyes (or maybe some females)
unattractive, just know that there are women who love that.
Naturally you will find one who loves you so much that she even digs your fur. It just means you are a REAL MAN!
This is how men are supposed to be, hairy. We women usually want someone who is the opposite of us. We are smooth and soft,
so we yearn for men who are hairy and hard (some areas
should be hard).
You could save up and get the laser hair removal treatment but it is SUPER expensive and like you said, sometimes it
requires many treatments.
My Uncle has a hairy back and has his partner put Nair on his back once or twice a month.
Please, just embrace yourself, as life is so fucking short and there is no point in worrying about something you have no control
Everyone has something about themselves that they really want to change, and I mean EVERYONE.
I had to laugh a bit when you said the wind blows your back hairs; that sounds so cute!
Listen, women LOVE a confident man, so I suggest you start feeling comfortable in your own skin and hair!
Be so cocky about it. Know that it means you have loads of testosterone and you are a really potent man.
Grow to be so confident about it that you can even ask your new gal or what have you, to trim it a bit with a comb and
scissors once in a while, or the Nair routine.
Honest, my advice is to love yourself ASAP! It will be a contagious state of mind and the only logical solution.
Hope this helps a tiny bit.
- Dr. Dot xx
Dear Dr. Dot,
I sometimes fantasize about womenís feet I love to suck their sweaty toes! Am I a freak?
- Foot lovin' Fred
No way, tons of men have a foot fetish. My webmaster is one and I have
been talking to him on and off for years about it. I think it's harmless and
just means you love to worship in some way and love to be dominated, even if it
means just having someone stand over you.
Feet are the perfect way to see if a girl is well groomed elsewhere by the way.
If her feet are nasty, her muff will be a nightmare as well.
- x Dr. Dot
My guy always checks out other girls when we are out together. I wouldn't mind a once over, but he STARES and even though
I have mentioned that it is annoying, he still does it. It
REALLY pisses me off. Any suggestions?
- Pissed off Pam
Most girls HATE that. Trying to stop a man from gawking at other women is like trying to make a dog stop sniffing other
dogs' asses. You need to lay it on the line with your guy,
preferably after a meal or sex, when he is in a good mood. Remind him that you two are not together 24/7, so, he should gorge
on eye candy as much as he wants when you are not around,
BUT when he is with YOU, he needs to tone it down a notch and make you feel wanted. If he still drools over other chicks
after this little chat, you need to either accept it as part
of who he is, or move on. If I were you, I would rock his world (blow him) before you even go out to take the edge off of
his appetite and wear a sexy dress that keeps his eyes on you.
- Dr. Dot
Where can I meet a decent female? Sick of all the gold diggers.
P.S. Don't be scared of rejection. Girls can smell the fear and hate it.
First decide what kind of girl you want. If you want a party girl, I suggest going to bars that have karaoke because there
you will find women with more ambition and talent then the average bar fly in normal bars. People in a karaoke bar like
to challenge themselves and questions like "Are you going to sing?" or "Do you want to sing with me?" are easy icebreakers.
Or go to a gay bar/disco, there are always a couple of hot girls there, usually wishing there was at least ONE hetero guy in
the house. And LORD knows there are plenty of gay bars in NYC!
If you want a quiet, serious type gal, take a yoga class. Shopping in Victoria's Secret (for your sister, of course) is a
good way to be surrounded by cute women. Or, if you have the balls, go get a pedicure at any nail salon, and don't
be shy once you are in there, you will probably be the ONLY guy there.
Dear Doctor Dot,
My guy REALLY wants to have anal sex with me, but let's face it, it's a pain in the ass. Not only is it messy but super
painful. He is putting so much pressure on me about it, saying "most girls love it!" I don't want to lose him, but YIKES!
- Carol P.
P.S. To all you guys out there reading this, do NOT write me telling me how much your girl loves getting it up
the ass. I said "most girls." There are always exceptions.
He is exaggerating. Most girls HATE anal sex. If he thinks it is so great, tell him you will try it but only if he lets you
ram a dildo up his ass (you wouldn't want him missing out on any of the so-called pleasure!) Men like anal due to the tight
fit and because it's so naughty, but they don't realize how much it hurts until they try it. They think we all love it thanks
to porn flicks, where the girls are getting paid a lot to pretend they like it. Never do what you don't want to do. If he
doesn't like it, he can find himself a canal pal!
- Dr. Dot
Hi Dr. Dot,
I recently had my tits made bigger and I love them. Problem is, my gal pal likes to announce it to everyone we know and it
really pisses me off. How can I prevent this without seeming catty or hurting her?
Your friend is being so insensitive that I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings. She is probably jealous or has nothing
going on in her life exciting enough to talk about. Either way, before you two meet up, tell her on the phone or per
email that YOU want to be the only one to tell people about your new guns. If she still does it, embarrass her and yell,
"I told you I would like to break the good news myself, stupid bitch!" This should shut her up.
- Dr. Dot
Dear Dr. Dot,
I am going to get a massage next week, my first ever. How should I prepare? What do I
wear? What happens if I get a stiff one during the massage?
- Frank M.
Always shower before you head to your massage appointment. If you can't, buy some baby
wipes and wipe down the most offensive areas. You can relax knowing you aren't fuming,
and the therapist won't be scorning you in their mind the whole time.
Don't eat a big meal directly before the rub down. You will feel like you are laying
on a rock AND your belly will be making embarrassing noises if you do.
Since it is your dime, you should wear whatever you want during the massage. Most
therapists have seen it all and won't be bothered either way.
Boxers will hold down your stiffy if you get excited, but you can also hold "him" down
by asking the therapist to give you extra towels to drape around your pelvic area
(tell them you get cold easily). NOTE: Don't mention your stiffy if you get one. It is
just one of those things that happens, breathe deep and let it go.
Remove all jewelry and your watch. Your hair will look like HELL after, so if you have
somewhere nice to go after, warn them to avoid your whole head. If you do have them do
your scalp, it is worth looking like Don King afterwards.
Don't TALK during your massage, unless you need to ask for more or less pressure or
inform the therapist about an injury. Talking is counterproductive and makes the time
fly very fast. It also distracts the therapist and you won't get the best results if
they have to keep chatting with you. If they won't shut up, do find the courage to say,
"I would prefer to enjoy this massage in silence." It is your time and money and you
should speak up if something is bothering you (i.e., you want music, or silence, the room is
too cold/hot). The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
- Dr. Dot
Dear Dr. Dot,
My girlfriend likes to use baby talk when we are having sex and it makes me SICK.
I try to ignore it and enjoy, but it is so irritating I sometimes lose my hard on. She
is super sensitive and hates to be criticized, how can I stop her from doing this?
Try to bring it up while the both of you are driving. This way you donít have the
threatening eye contact and she can run off in a huff. If you mention this in bed, it
will ruin the sexy mood and she may feel like a cornered cat. First, mention some
things that really turn you on and that you want to try, then say, "By the way sweetie,
I find lately when you do your baby talk that my hard on goes soft. Can you try to
save that for out of the bedroom?" And she should take the hint that it is a turn off
in and out of bed. If she keeps it up, answer her baby talk in the most obnoxious
baby-talk tone you can whip up and she should REALLY get the hint.
- Dr. Dot
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