Charlize Theron and Ben Affleck

Director John Frankenheimer, who has lensed such classic triple-cross thrillers as The Manchurian Candidate and 52 Pickup has dealt Reindeer Games from the bottom of his deck of tricks. It's a convoluted and out-of-control sleigh ride that begins with a freshly released convict named Rudy (Ben Affleck) looking to start anew with his dead cellmate's pen-pal girlfriend Ashley (Theron). The plot continues to spiral downward like the stripes on a candy cane with the addition of Ashley's less than angelic brother Gabriel (Sinise) and his crude crew of loathsome lowlifes who think Rudy's got the know how to help them pull off a Christmas Eve robbery of a casino where they believe he used to work. From there till the flaming finale, Reindeer Games follows Rudy as he tries to escape Gabriel's gang while still maintaining the identity of his former cellmate Nick. Along the way come a landslide of unlikely revelations and expository dialogue that is supposed to surprise, but only confuses.

For instance, a gang of gun runners in a custom-painted eighteen wheeler, that may as well be a rolling pirate ship, never gets pulled over. A politically correct mix of cardboard criminals (one black, one Indian, one redneck, etc.) who plan their heist loudly and in public and even beat up their prisoner in diners and parking lots never attract so much as a concerned look. These scenes are but two of the lumps of coal that Herein Charger's script would have you accept as toys and goodies. There's more, but the producers have asked that certain essential surprises not be revealed. Which is just as well, some things truly have to be seen to be disbelieved. Affleck won an Oscar for the script he co-wrote with Matt Damon for Good Will Hunting. Maybe he could have helped with a last-minute Reindeer rewrite. Then again, you can't make prime rib out of Hamburger Helper, not even at Christmas.

Not to be a total Grinch about the movie, Charlize Theron, who can also be seen as Allure magazine's cover girl this month, is as easy to watch as her name is hard to pronounce and plays both good and bad girl with equal ease. Gary Sinise is plenty sleazy and greasy as the grungy Gabriel. And while he won't be winning any more awards for this sort of thing (his mantle already boasts a couple Golden Globes, an Emmy and an Obie), it must have felt good being so bad-ass and getting paid for it. Other notable names in Reindeer Games are Oscar-winning composer and morning-DJ Isaac Hayes, Clarence Williams III AKA Linc Hayes from the seventies "Mod Squad" TV series and goodfella Dennis Farina as the casino boss (of course) who for some unexplained reason "can't go back to Vegas." Also making a cameo is future NFL Hall-of-Famer Dana Stubblefield as "The Alamo," a knife-wielding lifer convict who slashes the real Rudy's cellmate Nick (James Frain) early in the movie. When it comes to looking massive and mean, Dana's the dude.

Most harrowing, however, are Reindeer Games’ action scenes, particularly the casino robbery which blasts away with enough firepower and blood splattering to satisfy even the most wired-eyed adrenaline junkie. Unfortunately, all the punishing stunt work and pulverizing pyrotechnics in the world can't divert attention long enough to overcome the movie's shortcomings. "Ultimately, Reindeer Games asks the question whether or not crime pays," Frankenheimer said recently. Fortunately for the producers, it's not a crime to make movies as ridiculous as Reindeer Games. If it were they'd all be spending Christmas in the slammer for many a holiday season to come.