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 I recently watched the harrowing entertainment vehicle called "The Simple Life" on the Fox network. That night, I had a fitful dream in which I interviewed the show's star, Paris Hilton. In my dream, Hilton's publicist warns me that Paris's IQ is in the "low teens." "Limit your questions to cosmetics and porn tapes, and you should be okay," the publicist says. "No problem," I respond. "I can do that...." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
NYROCK: |
Wow, 30 days on a farm. That must have been some fiasco. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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PARIS: | Fiasco? Is that the name of a soda? Tastes sorta like Sprite? | 
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NYROCK: |
You know, an ordeal. Something very difficult to get acclimated to. | |||
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PARIS: | Acclimate? Does that have something to do with clams mating? | |||
NYROCK: |
Oh boy, I see I'm gonna have to talk in monosyllables.... | |||
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PARIS: | My friend once had mono. She stayed in bed for a month. | |||
NYROCK: |
Okay, let's get back on track. What was it like being around all that livestock? | |||
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PARIS: | Livestock? Wasn't that a music festival in the '60s, with a lot of dirty hippies and stuff? | |||
NYROCK: |
Cows. You milked some cows, right? | |||
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PARIS: | Is that what that white stuff was? I thought it was Kaopectate.... | |||
NYROCK: |
Okay, I quit. I just don't have the tenacity for this.... | |||
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PARIS: | Tennis City? That's where Tiger Wood lives, right? Oh no, that would be Golf City, wouldn't it? |
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December 2003
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The latest NY Rock banter: Today's News: • Music • Movies • Entertainment NY Rock Confidential: • Cyndi Lauper, Joan Jett, Paybacks, Dollyrots, • Patti Smith, Johnette Napolitano (Concrete Blonde), Joey Ramone Birthday Bash with NY Dolls, etc. • Henry Rollins, Janeane Garofalo, Marc Maron, Gojira, Machine Head, Debbie Harry, Miss Guy, Pretty Boys, Theo and the Skyscrapers, Glass Hand Didi's Back: • Miss Lez 2007 • Zombies Attack Dear Dr. Dot: • Sex advice Jeanne's & Otto's (Incredibly Awesome) Blog Soft Porn Central TRUE! Cartoons | |||
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